Sunday, January 4, 2009
I really should just except the fact that we arent who we were. I am here and you are there, so very close, but so far away. Im just trying to get through all the other aspects of my life without you. I want to be in the city, so the dizzy lights and the rampid people can distract me. Somedays I think about leaving after Im through with school, but then I think that when I'm gone Im still going to remember you. Your a lost soul, one that I believed in. Im a lost girl, without a care anymore. Honestly, I always do have good intentions. You haven't spoken a word in weeks. Lord knows I'm confident so its your loss...but thats the problem this time its mine. When the lights go out and your with someone else and the sheets rise up on her legs and her belt, you'll think of me. If not this time, then the next, because sugar I'm hard to forget. You can't sense the anger and you never will, cause I play it off like I've taken multiple pills. All my life I've tried to find someone with a reason or purpuse, a goal or compatability, but noone can determine who they will become because in the blink of an eye people change, and everything changes along with the person. I walk down 42 street to a familiar place where we use to eat and believe me, its not easy to see you again. We have our awkward stages of what we should say and what we can't. How is it going to be when you don't know me anymore? Everyone makes their remarks and attacks and vendettas against me, concentrating into my business to see the next flaw till I'm empty. I won't let the little things interrupt my mind. Its 10:05 p.m. I just want to sit in your arms and watch the stars untill they fade again. I just want to fall asleep and wake up in your bed. I just want to wake up for once and have it all not be in my head. I just want it to be reality. Nothing else really matters. Now I see that what you want isn't always what you need. I think I need some starbucks coffee.