Saturday, March 14, 2009

Why do fools fall in love?

If this relationship is winding down than I am sorry. If today goes by and we let go of each others words and touch than its too damn bad. I've had a lot of flings that I just stop talking to simply because they aren't worth my time, but your something different and this isn't even a fling, its something.. something different. And, for reasons, I would chase you, even though I secretly pray that you want to chase me. I guess when I grab your hands and melt them with mine I feel a little tingly inside. I guess when I'm sitting next to you I feel a bit nervous, but at the same time I am completely comfortable being yours. I over think and over analyze stuff like this when I should just be waiting for you to show effort or go with the flow, but I can't just lay here staring at your number and not wonder if we could really work. I've had to get over many people and delete their numbers or forget about what ever silly shit we had, but I don't want you to become another statistic. I don't want to not hear from you for months and than someday randomly hear from you again. I wouldn't stand having to forget you and than falling for your smile again. I won't except kissing some strangers lips when in reality its yours I'm missing. You have to be the one that saves me. You gotta be the one that I keep in my phone book and see daily, the one that stops me from grieving, the one that keeps me from falling. I know how young we are with college right on our shoulders, with parents right on our asses, with heartache choking our necks, and winters that keep getting colder, but I just want to love you for now. This isn't me writing about love like always, I promise you I won't forget this, our relationship to me is delicate, even if it becomes non-existent. I'm not doubting. I'm contemplating. Your drifting apart and it only worries me because I care. Believe me its not often I spend my Saturday nights here writing about some person, now is it? I'm either a lonely insomniac or a fool in love.

1 comment:

  1. I really know what you mean. I have been going through a situation like that, and it is really hard. At what point are you chasing someone, at what point are you just simply putting yourself out there? And does love need a little nudge, a little effort? Or should it be "easy and effortless" at first?

    And those guys from our pasts that show up, the one-night stand 3 months later, the friend 4 years later, are they just coming up then because it is their time? Or did you and him really just not give it enough time or bother when it started to see where it could go before it's lost?

    So these guys that we chase, are they the ones that we are trying to nudge or make into something unnaturally? Or is that part of the game? Two people keep chasing until things synch up or fall even further out of reach?

    I DON'T KNOW!!

    And once you have been hurt in love, once you have had someone tell you that they no longer love you, and you have been fooled because you still love them, and you just cannot understand why things are no longer in synch, is this when you forget how to really love someone? Built up walls around you so high and thick that you forget how to NOT play the game when it's someone real. Or maybe you need to play it anyways.